みづきゆか™★すかい™★ういんやん™

I'm gone again.

Written at Wednesday, December 24, 2008 | back to top

Hey guys. Sorry no friendship quote of the day...
My house telephone line also don't have so you don't expect to online...
After new year only can fix that streamyx so I can online again...

Feeling kinda down these days.
Whats with can't online, exam coming and the fact that my friends I hang out with don't welcome me. It's not like they actually confronted me & told me to get lost or anything like that...

Let me just type out what I written in my notebook yesterday cos' so that I can let it out of my brain.

23rd December 2008,

I guessed today I realized that my friends are not welcoming me into their group. They are totally ignorant. This is stupid. I don't even mind JH for not sitting beside me, the places I reserved for them to sit together in the lecture hall.

But KM really hurted me. Others just like tag along her only. Especially when it was lunch break. They, the 3 of them, including XL just keep on chatting with each other. As if I'm not even existed. Then when we reached the school canteen, I asked several times on what they're planning to eat, as that's what we do all the time, discussing on what to order together. They ignored me again. Am I really that invisible? That my voice was not able to reach their eardrums. Fine about that since I'm used to that also. But the fact that after I followed them around for a few moments, finding out what food could raise our appetite, I think that KM was so pissed off that I've been following them around that she told me, "Just eat what you want to eat lar..." and at that exact moment, it struck me.

As if her real message is, "Go away, don't bother me anymore. Leave us alone. Shoo!" That really, really hurts. Then all I ever do was waited for my other group of friends and asked them what they're eating & bought lunch with them. So i'm very silent all day. Plus many attempts I tried to hide my tears were sucessful, except the last time. That time in class I sat with my other friends, I totally not sitting with them anymore. Why I cry? I cry cos I think they are just using me. When test that time they're oh- so friendly to me, saying that they must sit beside me to discuss the answers together when the lecturer not looking. The truth is that they totally copy my answers. In normal days they don't even bother to talk to me. Except to borrow my tutorial answers from me. I hate them.

That's all... I'm in a hurry.
I'm in the college's IT centre.
and IT class next... ==
Chiaoz people...

PS: Happy belated birthday to Karyan
Happy belated birthday to Fazril (aka Asakura, Shaman, Mr. XXX)
Both Birthday on 23rd December~

Thanks to Karyan, Yuen, Faz, Sousuke kor~
Thanks for listening.

I'm gone again.

Written at Wednesday, December 24, 2008 | back to top