みづきゆか™★すかい™★ういんやん™

Screwed

Written at Sunday, August 2, 2009 | back to top

Friendship Quote of The Day:
A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself.

Hey...
The feeling of unwanted is overwhelming me again.
But this time, the feeling of not doing anything, I just realized, is far more worse than being relied on.
The point is, the project for Business Law...
I just felt like I didn't contribute anything.
Not even typing the answer.
I only find some stupid info from the internet. And print.
Even if I edit question 2 answer, I didn't simplify it.
Then the final draft appears that anything I contributed is not appearing.
So kinda means I didn't contribute in anything.

I felt so bad.
So, so bad.

I hate myself.
I don't know what fun it is being looted by other noob players in MapleStory.
I don't know what fun it is onlining in Trinity when there are nobody around.
I don't know why I even cared to play back Restaurant City, or even Facebook.
I don't know why I keep on procrastinating.
I don't know why I keep on doing things the eleventh hour.
I don't know why I'm alive.

Sometimes even too desperate to find my other half. (don't mind me.)
Yeah so I'm telling the whole world I'm SAD =_=''
Laugh all you want, Wing Ho. LoL.

Just that the feeling of unwanted, is getting really really big.

Since started in Semester 2.
I joined another group of friends to hang out with.
The feeling of unwanted by my former group of friends.

Semester 4.
The feeling of unwanted overwhelms me when my current group went their separate ways on forming a group for assignment.
Which explains why I came to join a totally different group for Business Law.
I had no idea why we go on to joining other groups and not forming one ourselves.

Then these days I started to hang out with another group of friends who have more sense of humor and actually noticed I'm there during lunch time.

Based on these circumstances, I really miss my Secondary School Days.
It's so far different from when I entered TARC.
Everyone speaks in Mandarin, that I can barely open my mouth to talk.
During secondary school, my whole class speaks fluent English.

Even now my English is very broken.
I seldom read story books anymore with the insufficient time.
When I'm trying so hard to learn a 'lil bit more Mandarin,
my English suffered a downturn.

It's so unfair.
When I refer back my primary notebook which full of drawings,
I'm so shameful that I wrote 'draw from' than 'drew by'.
But I'm glad that in secondary my English fluency increase gradually.

You see, even in SMS, I tend to find my Online friends for a chat.
Instead of college friends.
Even secondary school friends like Yuen and Karyan,
We still keep in touch.

I just didn't consider that communication problem will be such a big problem before I decided to enter TARC, just to lessen my mother's burden.
The excitement of being in all-chinese college seemed to die down.

I don't know if I'm being pessimistic or this is the real life I'm living in.
I agree to Zed's MSN nickname.
"Am I living or is life hell?"

Well. That's all from 'The Confessions of Wing Yan'.
LoL. Cheers, mate.

Screwed

Written at Sunday, August 2, 2009 | back to top